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Nkanyiso Dlamini
Igama lami ngingu Nkanyiso Cedric Dlamini ngineminyaka engu-22 yobudala, ngazalelwa KwaMashu kodwa ngakhulela eNanda. Ekhaya sibawu 9 umasiphelele ngihlala nabazali bami bobabili nezingane eziwu 7, mina ngingowesithathu wokuzalwa ezi nganeni zasekhaya
Kwiyihlazo elikhulu ngokwesintu ukukhulelwa kwentombazane ingashadile.Uma intombazane ikhulelwe ingashadile kufanele lowo oyikhulelisile akhokhe inhlawulo kubazali bentombazane.Uma kutholakala ukuthi intombazane ikhulelwe ekhaya kuyaye kubuzwe kuyona ukuthi ikhuleliswe kwabani isibongo ukuze bakwazi abazali bayo ukuyiqhuba bayiyise kulowomuzi.Uma kuqhutshwa intombazane kuvukwa ekuseni ngovivi , kuhanjwe ukuze bafike kubokamfana kungakavuki muntu. Lokhu kusuke ukuze bamfice umfana engakathathi izindlela zakhe.
Kodwa ekhaya saquba ngenye indlela, usisi wami omdala ohlala eGoli wakhulelwa ngo-2009 akatshelanga muntu kwaze kwafika isikhathi sokuthi athole umntwana kwaba ilapho esesazisa khona. Ubaba wathumela umama ukuba aye eGoli ayozwa ukuthi kwenzekalani, umama wabuya esephethe umntwana kadadewethu nezindaba zokuthi umfana uyasifuma isisu futhi uyathembisa ukuthi uzovela ekhaya akephe inhlawulo futhi ageze umuzi wakwaDlamini. Kwathi ngonyaka wama-2011 umfana wafuna ukuvela ekhaya azo ngokhokha inhlawulo , ubaba wami wathi umfwethu omdala nami ucela sebenxenye yezenxoxo zokukhokha inhlawulo ngoba ubaba akasenabo abafowabo abaphilawo ezihlobo zihlala kude nathi zehlala e-Eastern Cape ingakho saba inxenye yezinxoxo nomalume wami naye wayekhona.
Umfana wathumela abantu abazomela ababili besuka eGoli kwaginda ukuba umfwethu omdala ayobahlangabeza e- Durban Station ukuze abakhombise ekhaya , bafika basebingelela sangavuma ngoba wathi umalume singavumi baze basinike imvulamlomo sathula baze bayikhiphi imvulamlomo. Kodwa ngokwazi kwami ayikishwa imvulamlomo uma uzohlawula ngaphandle uma uzolobola kodwa sabafuna thina ekhaya. Bayikhipha imali bayibeka pansi ngayithatha mina ngayibala ngavuma ngekhanda ngathi iyona lemali ebesivumelene ngayo. Zabeseziqala izinxoxo ubaba wababuza ukuthi baze ngani kwaDlamini bathi bathunywe undodana wabo ukuthi bazokhokha inhlawulo bageze umuzi wakwaDlamini.
Ubaba wathi kubona ufuna izinkomo ezimbili nembuzi eyodwa, inkomo yokuqala ingeza muzi ekunkomo kababa eyisibili inkomo yomqhoyiso kamama imbuzi yona eyokugeza amantombazani endawo asayizintombi nto. Kodwa lezinsizwa ezimbili ezazithunyelwe umfana ziyakwazi ukuzi khulumela zakhokha izimbuzi ezimbili nenkomo eyodwa esikundleni sezinkomo ezimbili nembuzi eyodwa basithembisa ukuthi undodana wabo uyasithembisa ukuthi uzobuya ezolobola. Mina nomfwethu sasingazi lutho sasizithulele, umfwethu wayelibe ebhala pansi konke ekuvunyelwana ngakho mina ngibale imali abayikhokhayo ngiyidlulisele kubaba.
November 2012
This post is also available in: English
From Thobeka Vilakazi:
Well what i can state is that izinto zenziwa ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene ezindaweni ezihlukene ngoba nanoma ngabe yimuphi umpkhakathi uzokwenza izinto ngalendlela okholelwa kuyona. Ngolwami ulwazi nangendlela okwenziwa ngayo kowami umphakathi kuba ngukuthi abakubo kwentombazane labo abasuke bonile kusuke kufanele belethe immbuzi eyodwa kanye nekesi likadrink. uma befika abamemezi esangweni ngoba vele kusuke kwaziwa bazokwenzani kusuke sekushiwo kepha bafika bashiye imbuzi esangweni ngoba vele iphekelwa ngaphandle mase bengenisa ikesi okuyikesi likabhiya. Kuke nguye ngalowo mndeni ke ukuthi bayathanda yini ukubaphekela kodwa kona asikho isidingo sokuthi baze badle akuphoqelekile. Okunye engingasho iphuzu kuko kusekutheni eyemvulamlomo kayenziwa uma kuzohlawulwa lokho kwenziwa uma ngabe kuzocelwa isihlobo esihle kulowo muzi. Uma sebekushiyile ebesuke beze ngako mase beyahamba ngoba nembuzi abasuke beyilethile abayidli idliwa umphakathi wangalapho kulowo muzi. Imbuzi lena nangephutha ayingeni ngaphakathi kulowo muzi bayihlinzela ngaphandle iphekelwe khona iphinde idlelwe ngaphandle futhi ngendlela okwenziwa ngayo ngakithi. Ngyabonga
From Nosipho:
Firstly,I want to congtatualte Nkanyiso for giving us some insite regarding the topic,great job:-).I don’t know much about it though,but as the author stated,the girl who has fallen pregnant is to be accompanied by elder women to report the pregnancy.She is expected to look presentable and be respectful.The boy’s family is expected to pay money to acknowledge the fact that the girl’s family woke up early and that money is refered to as “amazolo”.They also pay money to cleanse other girls,so that they don’t fall pregnant as well.And than they pay the actual price for the damages.I’m not sure about the rest but I thought I’d just share what I know.
From sihle:
What happens if the girl was no longer a virgin when a guy impregnates her?
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
He will stay pay for the damages but there’s a cow that he doesnt have to pay (inkomo ka mama).
From sipho nzimande:
akengibuze nami ,sikhona isidingo sokuhlawula uma ukade uthandana nowesifazane wamlobola ,wakhulelwa ingane yakho ,leyongane isebenzisa siphi isibongo ?
From Student Editor:
Hi Sipho, uma umuntu usumulobolile asikho isidingo sokuhlawula leyo ngane fanele isebenzise esakho.
From hlengiwe sithole:
Bafuna umntwana ngenkani ukuthi ayohlala khona kodwa abakamhlawuli,kumele senze njani?kumele yini ahlale khona noma kumele avakashe
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
Hlengiwe, akumele bamufune ngenkani ngoba ngokomthetho wesiZulu umntwana ungowenu. Uma umndeni wakho ungavumi ukuthi bamuthathe, akukho abangakwenza.
From Nondumiso Mkhize:
Imalini isiyonke imali yenhlawulo? because umama uthi kufanele kube u20K ngibona ngathi ihaba nje lelo nenkomo eyodwa. Kodwa ubaba wengana uno10K yena manje akasazi noma aqhubeke azohlawula noma ahlanganise lo20K. Kuthiwa imali yemvula mlomo, ekagwayi, eyochatho angizazi ezani lezinto
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
Hi Nondumiso
u20K uyihaba vele, imvula mlomo, imali kagwayi neyochatho ikhishwa kumuntu ozolobola. Ukuhlawulela ingane kukhishwa ingeza muzi (imbuzi ephilayo), inkoma kababa kanje nekama (uma uqala ukuthola umntwana)nemali yamazolo (R200-R500). Kodwa umuntu ubiza imali ayithandayo ngengane yakhe. Kungangcono umama wakho ahlale phansi nabanye abaqada emndenini bambonise. Futhi imali yenhlawulo ayivamile ukukhishwa yonke kanye kanye
From phindile:
Mina ngathola umntwana ngingakashadi kodwa wahlawulwa ngambiza ngesibongo sikaBaba wakhe kodwa naye abokoMalume wakhe bathi akahlawulwanga kuso. Ngingenzenjani
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
Hi Phindile
Abakubo kobaba wengane fanele bahluwule ubaba wengane noma azenzele yena ngoba usekhulile bese beshintsha isibongo kanye kanye nengane. Yena ubaba wengane usahlawula manje umuntu akahlawulwa kabili. Kodwa kukokonke okwenzakalayo fanele ubaba wengane abanisane nabakubo.
From buhle:
Hi
Ngicela ukubuza if unengane and abakubokwayo bakhipha yonke into okwakumele bayikhiphe inhlawulo nkomo kama no baba ingeza muzi , ingabe uma usuthola enye ingane komunye umuntu kumele yini nalo osekukhulelisile naye akhiphe ingeza muzi na? Noma kuya ngokuthanda kwabakubo yini noma ingoba izinto zenziwa ngezindlela ezingafani? Ngididekile cela ningichazela kahle
From Student Editor:
Hey, ingeza muzi ikhishwa kanye kodwa nalo olandelayo kumele ahlawule
From zandi:
Sacela ukubuza guys, what if the girl dsn’t want the guy who impregnated her to pay inhlawulo bcoz she wants the child to retain her surname, bcoz myb they are no longer an in a relationship, can the child ayenzelwe usiko lakubo ka mama wakhe and then inhlawulo ingakhishwa until further notice? Ibikwa kanjani leyo kwabadala?
From Nellie:
Ukuhlawula akusho ukuthi ingane isizobizwa ngoyise. Kunolunye usiko olwenziwayo ngokuvumelana kwemindeni lokulobola ingane, ikhishwe komalume ibuyele kubo,
From Saneld.M:
Hi guyz kwenziwa njani if ingane izozalwa umama wenye ingane wahlawulwa walobolwa umama athole ingane yomunye umuntu engasiye walona amlobolile cela ningisiza niphendulise lokhu plz
From Pat:
Ngifuna ukuhlawula inkinga yami ukuthi umama wengane yami useke waba nengane yomunye umuntu ngaphambilini wahlawulwa. Ngicela ukwazi ukuthi kumele ngihlawule yini? Uma kumele, ngani noma ngamalini? Okunye engifisa ukukwazi ukuthi amawele ahlawulwa njengengane eyodwa noma cha?
From andile:
Guys nid help
Abazali bentombi bafuna R9000 ngokuthi akaseyona intombi nto ngabe kubangelwa yin kuthi ibe pezulu inhlawulo abayidinga kim ngalesenzo sam ngizimisele ukukhokha kodea ngidinga incazelo yokuthi kungan babize kanje
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
Andile
Ayikho incazelo engako ungayithola. Umuntu ubiza into ayithandayo ngengane yakhe. Lemali abakubize yona imele inkomo.
From Zanele:
Kahle hle obani abahambisa inhlawulo abesifazane noma abesilisa. ngisho ngoba uma kubikwa isisu kuhamba abesifazane so uma sekuyohlawula kuhamba abesilisa yini noma abesifazane, ngoba uma sekuyocelwa isihlobo esihle isithathwa intombazane ukuba izogana ngiyazi ke ukuthi kuhamba abesilisa. sizani ningicacisele
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
Zanele,
Abesilisa abahambisayo
From Thulile Mpanza:
thulile mpanza
hy ppl,i jst want to go ask ukth is should the boy’s family pay “amazolo” if d gals family sent a child to submit a letter ebhalwe izimfanelo zomqhoyiso if umfana sewavuma kdala?
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
Yebo amazolo are paid by the boy’s family.
From nozi nxumalo:
from zipho Nxumalo
ingane uma izalelwe ekhaya uma kungashadiwe ibiza isibongo sakubo ntombazane noma bangashada bt kumele ubaba wayo ayihlawule ze ithathe isibongo sakubo uma ize yabandala isifuna kushintsha isibongo maybe isiyasebenza kumele yona ngokwayo ikhokhe inhlawulo komalume abaykhulisile ngoba before ibize isibongo sababa kunembuzi ekhiswa abakubontombazane coz yabikwa emadlozini kugaywe ngokunjalo nabakubomfana bazokhipha imbuzi yokwamukela umntwana kulowomuziesizobiza isibongo sayo
From Philisiwe:
Hi… Uhm I wanted to ask what if an abortion was done, the boy still has to pay but now how does he pay?? Is it still with the two cows and one goat??
From sanele:
Hy guys ngimithisile ntombi nto n ngfisa kukhokha nhlawulo n geze nomuzi….ngabe kmele ngibe namalini, izimbuzi ziba ngaki and izinkomo zi ba ngaki?
From zama:
cela ukubuza if ingane ihlawulelwe kodwa kungashadiwe ikhulela komalume ibiza siphi isibongo.
From Ayanda Ngcobo:
Zama, ibiza isibongo samama, ubaba kumele akhiphe enye inkomo yokuyithenga / yokulobola ingane
From Sah:
Hi all,
I have a 2 year old son, ubaba wakhe ufuna ukumhlawula mara ungithole ngingazalona i virgin. ngcela ukubuza nkos yam nisize la : kumele akhiphe imali yenkomo ka mama?izimbuzi zibangaki?
ngyabonga.
From zandile:
Hy ngithole umntwana ngingashadile nd abazali bami bafuna u7000 nembuzi ephilayo.ngcela ukubuza ukuthi awukho mkhulu yini lo 7000 coz ngizwa abanye bethi u2500 ukukhokhela ingane
From Khumbu:
imindeni ayifani , R7000 wona awukho mubi ngoba izinkomo vele ziyabiza
From Lindo:
Ngicela ukubuza mangabe uMfana engakabi namandla okuhlawula. Kuyenziwa yini ukuthi abakubo baye kwaNtombazane beyosho ukuthi sekwenzeke iphutha? uGogo wami uthe kmele beze baphathe imali yaGwayi woGogog nemali yezinyawo.
From Slindile:
Ndicela ukubuza uma umuntu ekhulelwe bese uyachaza emndenini womfana then the family says sizobona entwaneni. Mara umfana yena uyavuma. Kumele kwenziwe njani .
From Londeka:
Sizan boh,
Nansi ingulube inginonela jesu, Ngikhulelwe sengizoteta ezinsukwini akusekude,ubaba wengane yami uthi ngeke ahlawule ekhaya ngoba naye ubaba wakhe uze washona engamhlawulelanga so before eze ekhaya kmele ayoqeda amacala kababa wakhe kuqala.Izolo ubone omalume bakhe eyofuna iseluleko kubo bamtshela ukuthi nabo abahlawulelwanga so kumele bona baqale bahlawulwe kuqala ngoba badala,bese kuza ubaba wengane bese kugcina ingane. Lokho anginakinga ngyayihlonipha indlela abenza ngayo izinto kepha uma sekubheda la uma ubaba wengane esethi kuzomele ingane ngiyibize ngesibongo sakubo, ngoba yena wagula umama wakhe emethe isibongo sakhe kwaphoqa ukuthi ashiselwe impepho emsamu ukuthi abize isibongo sika yise.Konke lokho ngiyakuzwa kepha nami ekhaya ngeke bayivume leyo, bese Ngicela ukubuza ayikho enye indlela esingenza ngayo ukuze sonke sifike esiphethweni esizwakalayo emindenini yomibili.
From Khumbu:
Sanibona
Mina sengike ngalotsholwa umendo wami wanga sebenza ngaba nengane emendweni kodwa ngebhadi yangaphila manje ngikhulelwe ingane yomuntu engizwana naye manje ngifisa ukwazi ukuthi uma esezohlawula yini ayikhiphayo yini angayikhiphi
From Babakhe:
sanibonani
ngisacela ukubuza mina nginengane enonyaka no 4months.sahlukana last year. so i’m will kuyihlawula. umama womtwana wami unezinye izingane ezintasthu.uboi wam ungowesine kuye.mina eyokuqala.so last year sake sabuza kuth inhlawulo kungaba into engakanani wangitshela kuth ufuna inkomo eziyisithupha(6) kusholo yena maka boi.ngala ngaphethake mina. ngagcinangakhokhanga manje ingane yam angifuni izibe neminyaka emibili ingakhokhelwe.akasenabo abazali yena umaka boi wam.unodadewabo abadala kuye kanye nabafowabo.nomalume.into edala asho lento uyathi ingane eyakhe akusiyo eyomalume bakhe so abahlangene naye cz abamondli and aabamondlanga ekhula so uthi uphethe yena,manje angsaz kant kumele yn kant ngkhokhe kanjan mina cz ingane ngfuna ibize esami isbongo kuze ngifake entwen zami as ngsebenza.kant umtwana uhlawulwa kanjan if engeyena wokuqala kumamawakhe.lyk how much or of kuyimali. or how many cows if kwephilayo?
From Goodman:
Sanibonani,
Ngifuna ukulobola kodwa angikahlawuli ingane intombazane engithandana nayo inengane ngaphadle yahlawulwa, kumele ngenzekanjani…ngikhiphe inhlawulo kuqala noma ngiqhubeke ngezingxoxo zamalobolo?
From Thandeka:
Sanibonani, ngathi ngiseVarsity ngiyintombi nto ngamitha ingane yami yandlula emhlabeni after 4days izelwe, ubaba wengane weza wazohlawula coz bambiza izinkomo ezimbili ne mbuzi eyodwa, wabe esekhipha imbuzi ne mali yenkomo eyodwa kungumuntu ozobuya esezokwakha ubuhlobo obuhle, ngebhadi azangeke zisaqhubeka ngezizathu ezinye, sahlukana. ngabe sengithola omunye ngamitha ingane yakhe, weza ekhaya ezocela ubuhlobo obuhle negotiations ned angisazike ukuthi bambiza njani, naye sahlukana manje ufuna incwadi yenhlawulo yomntanakhe manje ekhaya ngizwa bekhuluma ngezinkomo ezimbili ngabe kulungile nah?? manje ngisesmeni sokugana kwenye indawo nalapho nginomntwana khona una 2years, manje khona kumele izinkomo zibizwe kanjani kuyena coz nginezingane phambilini??
From Fezile:
uma kade uyobika isisu uba nami uma uyisebenzisa le mali oyinikwa emzini?
From Noxolo:
Sanibona ngakhulelwa ubaba wengane wangahlawula fut sesahlukana. Ngase ngithandana nomunye umuntu ngaphinda ngakhulelwa lona ubaba wengane yesibili ufuna ukuhlawula. Ngicela ukubuza ukut imbuzi lena yokugeza umuzi fanele ithengwe yimi ntombazana njengoba umuntu owathatha ubuntombi bani waphinda wangimithisa engathandanga ukuhlawula,noma izothengwa ilona wesibili ofuna ukuhlawula